Name: Andrew 'Bruce' Forsyth

Rank: Rear Admiral

Callsign: Seriously, he has enough names

Day Job: Lawyer

Would have liked to have been: Gamekeeper

Ride: Mercedes SLK 230

Pimp my ride? Yes. To a car for boys.

Mechanical Skills: Haynes 3 spanner certified

Bodging Skills: Shaolin Master. Favoured disciplines include:crouching gardening wire, hidden para cord and gaffer style.

Most useful Mongol Rally contribution: Russian A-level

Least useful Mongol Rally contribution: Perpetual mumbling

Likes: The sound of silence, WD40

Dislikes: Talking, people, people talking

Hobbies: No thanks

Name: Rik Thomas

Rank: Major Douche

Callsign: Shitmittens

Day Job: Doctor

Would like to have been: A Guitar Hero

Ride: Bimmer 1150GS

Pimp my ride? Not necessary. It already has 'mad flavour'.

Mechanical Skills: Feeble. Useless without idiot-proof instructions. Most simple jobs require 3+ trips to Halfords .

Bodging Skills: Black belt gaffer tape

Most useful Mongol Rally conribution: 40 rolls of 3-ply

Least useful Mongol Rally contribution: Speeding, rapidly followed by misplacing his driving license. Or an incorrect set of Russian visas. Take your pick.

Likes: Right angles and Ryan Reynolds

Dislikes: Time and the Sun (stellar body, not the newspaper)

Hobbies: Facial Hair

Name: Joanne Flitcroft

Rank: Private Benjamin

Callsign: Dave

Day Job: Lawyer

Would have liked to have been: Right

Ride: TT, on a So Solid flava

Pimp my ride? On a company car scheme? Seriously?

Mechanical Skills: Can use fuel filler cap. If there's no one else there

Bodging Skills: Not in this world. Or the next

Likes: Africa

Dislikes: Technology, kerbs

Hobbies: Travel, photography, ancient Greeks and Romans

Name: Dan Fowler

Rank: Just under G.I. Jane

Callsign: Surely you get given that?

Day Job: Land Operator / Opportunist / Super Hero (Okay the last one's a lie, but the others sound lame...)

Would have liked to have been: 10 Years old again with the knowledge I have now.

Ride: Boring BMW

Pimp my ride? Does that it's a M-Sport Coupe Count?

Mechanical Skills: I kept a 20yr old Datsun Cherry 100a alive between my 17-19 birthdays...

Bodging Skills: Punctured bicycle inner tubes can fix almost anything... (As unaided end to end UK on push bikes in November proved, the wrong way)

Likes: Vodka Mojitos, All physical endeavour!!!

Dislikes: Whisky, Broadbeans, but HATES... Ineffecient service staff

Hobbies: Living every minute & saying yes to most propositions, hence why I'm here...

Name: Christopher Turner

Rank: Shaving Ryan's Privates

Callsign: Chris-in-Pants

Day Job: Investment Surveyor

Would have liked to have been: A gay reindeer (according to Rickee)

Ride: Ducati 749R, Scooty-Puff Junior

Pimp my ride? Are you kidding? You can't pimp a 749R!

Mechanical Skills: Single-handedly assembled an entry level Tamiya Dirt Thrasher radio control car aged 21

Bodging Skills: One time I let my brother Sellotape wheels on to my go-cart. Let's hope we don't get a flat en route to Cameroon

Likes: Ironing in my underpants, my underpants, luggage

Dislikes: Right angles, washing up, Rickee filling in my profile.

Hobbies: Hockey, Skiing, Sailing, Organising Stuff